Brandi Carlile - Returning to Myself
On Returning to Myself, Brandi Carlile breaks her heart wide open. Bee Delores illustrates how Carlile's deeply personal tracks become universal
In life, we have friends and loved ones to rely on, but the one true constant is ourselves. Sooner or later, we must learn how to stand alone and fully embark on our life's journey. With her new album, Returning to Myself, Brandi Carlile breaks her heart wide open and sees herself finally learning what it means to stand on her own. "I’m reflecting and realizing that learning to stand alone is something that people are supposed to do when they’re young," she writes on Instagram.
It's just "like skiing or chickenpox," she continues. "That if we miss our chance when the pain tolerance is at its highest, we may never do it." That sentiment feeds 10 songs of raw confessions, as she digs her feet in for some necessary inner work. We all eventually meet that threshold of deconstruction of the self, the precipice where we can't turn back, no matter how uncomfortable things get. "Returning to myself is such a lonely thing to do," she captures. "Returning to myself is just returning me to you, and that's the only thing I wanna do."
With "Human," Carlile rings an alarm to, above all else, be empathetic and brave in the eyes of an oppressive system. "When you look in the eyes of the strangers you meet, be human," she concludes on the bridge. It's tough to see through the fire and smoke rising out of the White House these days, and at its pulsing heart, Returning to Myself is about reclamation and rebellion—listen to "Church & State," a direct response to the 2024 election night. In fact, "Human" was written the night before, and together, they're an electric shock to the soul.
"Even the roaches come from somewhere, leaving a stain where the angels fell in the city where no one knows your name," Carlile observes in "A War with Time." A prickly, sensitive comment on the wheels of the world and how we all exist under time's watch, merciless eye. From "Anniversary" to her Joni Mitchell ode "Joni," Brandi Carlile hits upon a remarkable creative well.
All her heavy musings come to a head in the closing track, "A Long Goodbye," in which she paints vivid vignettes of various everyday people either finding themselves underwater or witnessing the world plummet into dark, watery depths. "He went out the window on a New Year's Day and shattered his body on a downtown street," she sings. She neither casts judgment nor praises these tragic moments. She's a narrator, a voyuer offering life just as it is.
Returning to Myself is as deeply personal as it is universal. When you honestly dig into your chest, you find truths to be eternal. It's a marvelous thing—that the meaning of life has been with us this entire time. It's not some glorious revelation found in religion or vices or even the exhilaration of taking big, bold risks... it's simply to be.
