INTERVIEW: Mary Bragg Finds Healing in Transparency With "The Game"
On "The Game," Mary Bragg sings honestly about what it's like to make a life with someone whose in-laws won't acknowledge her. Eight years in the making, Bragg tells us about what it was like to craft this song and put it out into the world.
Mary Bragg tells Secrets to Strangers on her latest album – an Editor's Pick here at Rainbow Rodeo. The Nashville-based singer-songwriter took a trip down to Muscle Shoals to record her latest album, a sharp dose of Nashville honesty blunted by the rhythmic groove inherent to the Shoals. On "The Game," Bragg sings honestly about what it's like to make a life with someone whose in-laws won't acknowledge her. Eight years in the making, Bragg tells us about what it was like to craft this song and put it out into the world.
This song was eight years in the making. What made it feel like it was time to send it into the world?
I've been living the reality of this feeling for eight years, but only recently found myself willing to put it into a song. It sat dormant in the back of my mind while it weighed heavily on my heart as I waited to find a way to write about it that made sense for me. It was in the safe company of my friend and co-writer Maya De Vitry that the story fell out into a drony melodic structure, almost all at once. It felt like blacking out. Once it was written, it felt imperative to record it, release it, and shine a light on this reality that so many people experience first-hand.
How was it to make the music video with your wife?
It was deeply cathartic. We'd made the decision together for me to record the song - I was quite reluctant at first - because my own pain around the subject can almost feel out of bounds. Thankfully, she has reminded me time and again that my feelings are as valid as hers. In thinking about a music video for it, I knew I didn't want anyone else around. The thought of a big crew of people with multiple cameras was not the thing. It had to be just us.
For months I'd been envisioning this cold, empty warehouse that might help convey the feeling, and wildly, some friends of mine offered their warehouse in Muscle Shoals at an old TVA property. It had been abandoned for some time. Would you believe -- when we arrived and walked through the doorless, cavernous building, we started looking around for shots we thought would work, and there, along this huge, dirty white cinder-blocked wall, there sat a singular object - a basketball. The hairs on our arms stood up. We'd come to the right place.
How has it been to be out in the music world? Are there places where you find healing?
Being out is wonderfully relieving, as I've always craved being understood, though of course it doesn't come without its age-old challenges. Any fear I feel, though, like playing "The Game" in rural America, is outweighed and immediately dismissed when someone comes up to me after a show, tears in their eyes, saying, "me too." Just the other night, a man said to me, "My daughter is gay, and the love of her life chose her family of origin over her." There are so many painful angles to this story that don't have to exist, but somehow, people keep finding them.
I find healing in transparency, in honesty, in moments at home with my wife where our love is completely, beautifully normal and free. With our friends who know us. With certain people in our families who allow us to be exactly who we are without judgment (thankfully, there are many).
Is there anything you'd like to share with people who are in the process of their own coming out?
Gosh, what can I say that hasn't already been shared by those who came (out) before us? Ironically, I'd say- your experience matters more than you're probably willing to admit. Your pain of being dismissed or disowned entirely does not define who you are in this world. Don't let it.
What are you most excited about for the release of your album Secrets to Strangers?
I am always so thrilled to get to release new music into the world. It's such a privilege and a pleasure to share stories in this way, and I'm thrilled to get to play these songs on the road.
